Romance Relief: the loving kind and the leaving-yourself kind

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August 3 - Sep 14, 2026 (No Session Labor Day Weekend)
Six Mondays  | 5:30-8:00pm |  Live on Zoom | $600  | Twelve Seats

What To Expect

There's a way of loving that costs you yourself, and a way that lets you stay whole inside it. This cohort is about learning the difference — together, over six weeks. Whether you're in a relationship, between them, or rebuilding after one.

  • Learn to use the tools when it matters, not just know about them

  • Practice being loved without performing for it

  • Find where the old patterns live in your body — and loosen them there

  • Build a small, trusted circle practicing the same skills

Where You Might Be Right Now

You're doing this love thing mostly alone in your head. On the outside it might look fine (or maybe it's obviously not) — you show up, you keep the peace, you hold it together. But inside, there's a version of you that's exhausted from managing the temperature of the relationship, that rehearses conversations that never happen, that's always half-braced for the next shift in the weather.

You want to be someone who can be fully loved without earning it hourly. Who can say the true thing without a three-day cost-benefit analysis. Who doesn't have to disappear to keep someone close.

Here's what's probably been keeping you from doing anything about it: the patterns feel like personality. "This is just how I love" — vigilant, over-giving, always reading the room. And the tools you've heard about? You may already know them. Knowing was never the problem. Reaching for them mid-moment, when your whole body is bracing — that's the skill nobody taught.

None of that is a character flaw. It's just what an untrained nervous system does when it's trying to keep love safe.

The old patterns show up everywhere, often in the same day, in the same person:

  • Rereading a text five times before sending → managing, not connecting

  • Apologizing to end the tension, not because you were wrong → peace-keeping, self-erasing

  • Performing "easygoing" while keeping score inside → resentment in a nice outfit

  • Forecasting their mood from the sound of the door → vigilance, exhaustion

  • Giving more to feel more secure → earning love instead of receiving it

  • Going quiet instead of saying the true thing → protected, and alone

These behaviors are just the evidence of a deeper pain that cries for healing. That's what we're doing here. Together.

What You'll Receive

  • Six live online sessions, same day and time, held in a small, confidential group

  • Practice catching the old pattern before it runs the moment

  • Guided space to understand the root, not just the reaction — presence over performance, practiced in real time

  • A clear framework for telling the difference between love that costs you yourself and love that lets you stay whole

  • A small circle of people doing the same work — because the right community is the key to finding freedom in any area of life, and this one is built to hold that for you

Why This Cohort Exists

I'll tell you what I learned the long way: knowing about the tools is not the same as being able to use them. I knew plenty. In the hardest season of my marriages, I could have taught a class on communication — and still couldn't always reach for it when it mattered. That's not a character flaw. That's an untrained nervous system doing what untrained nervous systems do. Perform from undealt with pain.

So that's what this room is for. Not theory — reps. Six weeks of practicing love's actual skills with people who are done white-knuckling it, so that when it matters, your hands remember.

If any of this is a normal human reaction you find yourself wanting to keep growing through — I'm excited to meet you.

IT WON'T STAY IN ONE ROOM

Here's something I didn't expect from my own work: I came to heal one thing, and the tools quietly followed me everywhere. The same practices that steadied my closest relationships changed how I answer hard emails, how I rest, how I sit with silence. That's the nature of body-level work — your nervous system doesn't keep separate files for love, work, and family. It's all one system. Tend it in one place, and the whole house feels it.

How It Works

  • Tell me what's calling you here, and how ready you are to do this work. This isn't a formality — I read every application myself.

  • I'm not looking for who applied first — I'm looking for readiness and genuine desire to do this work. Twelve seats go to the twelve people I believe are ready to show up fully.

  • If this room is yours, you'll hear from me personally. Payment confirms your seat (the Care Fund exists if money is the wall — just say so), and I'll send your welcome letter and the Zoom link.

  • Mondays, 5:30–8:00pm, live on Zoom. Same twelve people, same room, six sessions. Come as you are — the room does the rest.

  • A personal follow-up from me, and where to go next if you want to keep walking this — another round, one-on-one work, or simply what you built here, carried home.

How We Show Up For Each Other

  • We build each other up — never tear each other down

  • We hold space for peace, even when things get hard

  • We check in on the ones who've gone quiet

  • We encourage the discouraged and support the struggling

  • We practice patience, especially with ourselves

  • We meet harm with grace, not retaliation

  • We choose joy on purpose, not just when it's easy

  • We stay rooted in practice — whatever keeps you connected to something bigger than the moment

  • We give thanks, even for the small things

  • We don't shut down the parts of ourselves still trying to grow

  • We protect what's good, and we let go of what isn't

THE SIX WEEKS

  • We find your version of the automatic yes — where it came from, who taught it, and what it's been protecting. You can't retrain what you haven't named.

  • Underneath every swallowed no is a belief: I'm loved for what I carry. We find yours and hold it up to the light.

  • The no is already in your body — you've felt it rise. This week we learn to find it, trust it, and let it finish its sentence.

  • The practice weeks begin. Real nos, practiced live, starting small — and learning that someone's brief disappointment is survivable.

  • The deeper skill under every boundary: letting yourself stop. Not as a reward. As a right.

  • What you're taking with you, what you're leaving behind, and how your honest yes keeps working after the room closes.

Do You Want To Heal?

Reserve Your Spot

Twelve seats, reviewed personally — this isn't first-come, first-served. Apply, tell me what's pulling you here, and we'll see if this room is yours.

Apply Here

Not ready for a group? There are one-on-one paths too — see the offerings